The jabs, the teas, the pills from a man above a vape shop. Spill what happened to your body — and read everyone else's. No names, no photos of faces, and absolutely nobody can message you here.
Ten years of this now. Teas, pills, a patch, a machine with a belt that vibrated so hard it fell off the bedside table. The only thing that ever changed was how much of the day I spent thinking about my own body. Writing it down here is the first time it has been funny instead of just sad.
Mine was blue instead of clear, which I now know is not what it is supposed to look like. I had feverish shaking for two nights and a lump at the site that took six weeks to go away. I never found out what was in it. That is the part I keep thinking about.
51m ago
The bus was full. A very kind woman in a floral anorak held the bag for me. That is the kindest a stranger has ever been to me and I could not even look at her. I got off at the next stop and walked forty minutes home.
51m ago
I paid for a 'tea programme' before my sister's wedding because the dress was tight in a way I had decided was a moral failing. On the day I was so dehydrated my legs kept going from under me, and I spent the ceremony worrying about the toilets. The photos are lovely. I look ill.
51m ago
A perfect red circle, warm to the touch, every single time. The pharmacist looked at it for a long time without saying anything reassuring, which is the loudest thing a pharmacist can do.
51m ago
Everyone talks about the food noise going quiet like it is a miracle. Nobody mentions that the rest of the noise went with it. I stopped wanting food, then stopped wanting plans, then stopped answering my sister. I did not feel sad, I felt like a washing machine that had finished its cycle and had nothing else to do.
Billed monthly, no contact number, one email address that bounces with a cheerful out-of-office. I have cancelled a card. They have started ringing me from a number that comes up as 'unknown'. This is not medicine, it is a gym membership with a needle.
51m ago
The stomach pain was down low and would not let up, and then the vomiting started and I could not keep a single sip of water down. My partner drove me in at 2am. They kept me in overnight for tests. I had booked a birthday brunch. I am posting this because I had no idea it could get that bad.
51m ago
Six days. Six. I have never been so humbled by my own body. The pharmacist said 'that can happen' in the voice of a woman who has never once been afraid of a toilet.
51m ago
Everyone says 'you look great' in the tone you use for someone who has had a bad haircut. My face has slid off the bone. I am 34 and I get called 'madam' in shops now. Nobody prepares you for losing the fat that was holding your personality up.